The Wonderful Fantastical Berries with Whipped Cream & Sparkling Sprinkle Pie

Prep Time: More time than you think, but less than you need.

Cook time: As long as it takes to massage a duckling

Serves: Only about 200, double the recipe for 12

Description
This is the most wonderful, fantastical berries with whipped cream & sparkling sprinkle pie you will ever taste in your life. Ages 10+ suggested. Any younger and they might fall into a coma due to the unsteady blood flow due to uncontrolled amounts of sugar.

It is very hard to describe the taste of this eloquent, unforgettable recipe, so it is something that can only be understood through experience. Follow the recipe to a T or forever be haunted by the thoughts of how wonderful & fantastical this will taste!!!

Ingredients/Directions

 * 4 cups of any type of berry marked with the "Wonderful" Seal of approval. If no fruits in your area have this, you will need to grow your own. Deal with it.
 * 1 handful of whipped cream. Store-bought will do, but if you do this you will have to multiply the ingredient amount by 12. In other words, 12 handfuls of store-bought whipped cream or, 1 handful of handmade.
 * 1 spoon full of sugar from a flying nanny who owns a carpet bag and can sing about a spoon full of shugar.
 * 1 cup of sprinkles. Any color will do, although purple is preferred, being that it is the best-tasting color & the most magical.
 * 1 pie. Please make your own pie, store-bought, as always, does not taste nearly as good. This website has plenty of delicious pie recipes, please find one you like.
 * Now onto the directions! The directions are very simple, that is why we decided we didn't want to include a totally new section for them.
 * First, combine the berries with the whipped cream. The berries should be blended before you mix them with the handfuls of whipped cream. Use a high-quality blender to do so.
 * Once this concoction is mixed until it resembles the texture of toothpaste, proceed on adding the spoon full of sugar.
 * Now on to the pie! After making the pie, sprinkle the sprinkles on top of it. How magical!
 * Finally, dump your berry/whipped cream/shugar concoction next to the pie. Yum yum yum! You're almost ready to eat.
 * Last but not least, dump everything into the trash can, BUT not before smearing everything onto your hands so that you get a nice, slimy coating of pie/sprinkles/whipped cream/mashed berries/shugar over all your fingers.
 * Lick this scrumptious dessert of your hands. (Note: allow some time for sweat to build and mix into this yummy treat, as the sweat adds a salty aspect to the dessert that cannot be obtained through regular table salt).